What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize