Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
