Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
