I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize