I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
