i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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