did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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