so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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