hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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