Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
oh god the rape fog is back!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
