The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize