Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
