shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
