Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My penis needs a shock collar
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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