To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
