Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
