so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
