i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
