How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
