the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
