Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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