don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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