Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
