you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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