Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
