this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
