dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
