Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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