we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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