They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
