I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
