im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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