Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
