Tell her she can't have a vagina
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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