I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
did i walk over a car last night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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