i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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