I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
