Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
