can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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