walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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