ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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