i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
