just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
