I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
