East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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