ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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