he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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