I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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