SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
