There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think people are normalizing furries
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
