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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His hands were made for my vagina.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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