What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize