i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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