summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
