If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
