you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
