The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
