Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
