he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
