South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well you can't waste a boner
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
