I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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