I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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