may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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