My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
